Gossiping Lies

I'm nervous to write this post because I know this is going to come across as harsh, but I don't mean it to. Just know my heart isn't to be harsh and judgemental.

Sometimes the way the world thinks saddens me. And by the world, I don't necessarily mean unbelievers, some things believers say is also very saddening--sometimes more so because they should know better....but then again, God is the one who opens our eyes, not us. I just recently overheard an older couple talking about someone they knew who was getting married.

Is your husband getting that lovin' feeling?

Okay, well we can't avoid it much longer so let's just get to it. And, this is something that I need to work on big time. Most of my posts are written not because I have mastered this area and am an expert, I write them because I want to share what I'm learning and hope that as women of God, married couples, wives, mothers, friends, we can all grow together because I am definitely still growing.

Encouraging our husbands

I asked my husband once if I nag and his response wasn't what I expected, he informed me that I don't...in the way a normal wife nags or in the way one normally thinks of nagging. I don't do it verbally; I do it in my attitude and actions. Ouch....lol. But I'm glad I asked and he was honest. Another way one can nag without realizing it, is by not praising and edifying our husbands. What are you doing when you aren't thinking and praising the good? Thinking on the negative. Now maybe you wouldn't categorize that as nagging, but it definitely isn't edifying and respecting.

Marriage Books

I wanted to read this new book on marriage that has come highly recommended to me:

http://www.amazon.com/Real-Marriage-Truth-Friendship-Together/dp/1400205387.

What Do Women Want?

Now guys and gals, before you get scared and think this is going to be a feminist post or a male-chauvinist post, take a big sigh of relief...it's not. It is a simple post on things we can do in our marriages to help fulfill our spouses needs. I saw this post today when I was browsing through blogs and I wanted to share it with you. It is a really good yet simple post on what women really want. So any guys reading this, check it out. :) It may prove to be helpful for your wives. And ladies, we don't get off the hook. The author of the blog created this post for us to learn what our guys really want. I love how short, concise, and honest it is.

These two blog posts are awesome. I would recommend you click the links and head on over to her blog to check it out. :)

Here are the links one more time:

http://christianmensblog.wordpress.com/2013/06/03/10-things-women-want-men-to-know/

http://christianmensblog.wordpress.com/2013/06/05/what-men-really-wish-women-knew/

Having a Marriage that Rocks!!

I read this today  and I am honestly not sure where this came from so I can't give credit BUT it wasn't from me. Though, I thought it was fantastic and some things we really should implement  :) Check it out and try to do a few of these things for your husband or wife today. :)

60 WAYS TO MAKE YOUR MARRIAGE ROCK! 

1. PRAY TOGETHER ALWAYS 
2. READ THE SCRIPTURES TOGETHER ALWAYS 
3. Go on regular date nights
4. Hide notes in secret places
5. Go to bed at the same time
6. Listen to music together-share ear-buds
7. Buy him gifts he will love
8. Revitalize the romance with intimate dates
9. Wear shirts that tell the world you love your spouse
10. Praise your spouse to other people
11. Read a marriage devotional
12. Sleep in his t-shirts
13. Renew your vows privately with whispers and memories
14. Renew them publicly with cake and bubbly
15. Go away together at least once a year


For Women Only
16. Hang pictures of the two of you around your house
17. Make his favorite dessert
18. Make sex a priority
19. Spend time apart occasionally
20. Learn to enjoy something he loves
21. Surprise each other
22. Meet him at the door
23. Text each other from across the room
24. Set reminders on your phone to remember him/her throughout the week
25. Call him right now and tell him you appreciate him

For Men Only
26. Leave work on time and come home early
27. Engage every day in meaningful conversation
28. Compliment each other
29. Take one day a month to make your spouse your total focus
30. Argue fair: avoid these words “you always” and “you never”
31. Kiss every day
32. Find tangible ways to serve your mate without complaining
33. Forgive quickly
34. Be honest.
35. Get on the same page: plan your budget together
36. Look your best as often as you can
37. Guard your marriage
38. Laugh together
39. When you are together-BE TOGETHER (take a break from phones, technology, etc)
40. Tell her she’s pretty, especially when she’s not feeling it

Both
41. Make each other breakfast in bed
42. Do her chores for her
44. Get a couple’s massage or host your own privately
44. Dance together-soft music (both of you alone) or rocking music with the kids
45. Exercise together- hikes, bike riding, etc
46. Choose not to be annoyed by an irritating behavior/disappointment from your spouse
47. Thank your spouse often even for the least reason or gesture
48. Lay in bed together and stare into each other eyes, without talking
49. Learn something new together-take an art class, cooking lessons, etc
50. Leave a sweet comment on the Facebook wall
51. Support each other’s goals
52. Bring her flowers/gifts (even when she says they are too expensive)
53. Wear something your spouse loves
54. Share furniture-sit in his lap
55. Fight for your marriage
56. Make a point to eat dinner together most days of the week.
57. Never let your spouse feel like they come second place to your career or any other thing.
58. Talk about your dreams and aspirations. Be supportive of each other and dream big together!
59. Maintain a united front as your motto: Meaning- “Me and you against the world.
60. Speak well of your spouse.

Quality Time

John and I used to play games with each other all the time when we were dating. Once we married, that stopped. Honestly not sure why. We just got lazy and complacent I guess? Anywho, over the weekend we decided to play games. We played Yahtzee one night. That was a blast. Then another night we played Uno. Then John taught me how to play Chess. I am no good at it, but it was still fun. I reorganized our game cupboard and placed it in a bookshelf near the kitchen so that we can get to the games easier. Before they were in a closet on the top shelf so we hardly saw them and they were so hard to get to, we just didn't. I enjoyed playing the games with him. It was fun doing something other than watching a movie or whatever. we tried Trivial pursuit, but we both realized we are NOT smart enough for that game. That game is HARD!!! lol so we quit....and are throwing the game away....

What are some things you and your family do for fun? Maybe pull out a simple fun game tonight and play a few rounds. You will be surprised at how fun it is even if you don't want to at first. :)

Brutally Honest (warning, I would put a married or mature audience only disclaimer)

So, I am writing a humbling, brutally honest marriage post. Our marriage is not anywhere near perfect. We tell each other half jokingly that we fight every other day with a once a month big fight where we stop speaking for a few days. Now, this is sad, but it's the truth. No marriage is perfect; if you think your's is, you may need to listen to a few CDs on marriage or read a few books and then talk to each other, it definitely brings up stuff. lol As sad and sinful as the fights are, they are sanctifying as well. I wanted to write a post about this for a few reasons, one to write about how God is sanctifying me and showing me my selfish, prideful heart. Another reason is so that others who may struggle can be encouraged and realize that it isn't the end. I though in the beginning that because we fight so much that we really weren't meant for each other; that my friends is a lie that the devil tries to get us to believe. And lastly, I hope that through telling you about our mistakes, our failures, and then how we fixed the issue, you may learn as well and maybe can be proactive rather than reactive. :) So, here is a look into our sinful but wonderfully sanctifying lives.

I was thrilled for our anniversary. It's been two years! Two wonderful, hard, loverly, sanctifying (I am saying that a lot aren't I? Noticing a theme? lol), difficult, passionate, loving, amazing years. I had been planning what we were going to do for months. I knew we didn't have much money, so I was trying to come up with things that weren't expensive. Then I decided to make a bunch of homemade decorations. I cut out TONS of hearts of all sizes and colors. I hung most from the ceiling in our bedroom and then with the smaller ones, I wrote things down that I am thankful for, appreciate, or just plain love about John and I had them sprinkled on the dinner table. I then bought a few balloons (my plan was to buy a bunch, but again money was tight...so I bought a tiny bag and busted one....so I was left with two.......lol). I placed a small piece of paper in each one saying a few more things about John. I taped those to the ceiling too. They were to be popped later that evening...they still haven't been. More on that later.

I then wrote him some love letters and mailed them out to his work one each day for a few days (I was planning on a really awesome one including a sign to arrive today on Monday which is our actual anniversary but he took the day off.....lol).I set out a box that we keep and we call the "memory box." It is a box of everything we want to remember. Letters, little do dads from different events we have gone to, roses, ring boxes, ticket stubs, etc. I had set out a bunch of massage oils and such too and was planning on giving each other massages.  Warning: this is where it gets to be for married folks only lol. I even planned on doing a strip tease dance. I was soooo nervous!!!! I didn't really follow through on this one too well. But I will! I had the works set out. Confectionery hearts in the shape of a heart on the dresser, candles EVERYWHERE in the bedroom...even a feather boa! lol

Well, we were lame. We were both sooo tired that day and the only thing we did was go through the memory box, which was in fact fun. We both loved that, but that was it. I had dinner and movie with popcorn and pop planned, and lots of stuff. But, we both planned on resuming the activities the following day.....and we had a pretty good day Sunday too, until I decided to take a nap. My nap kept getting interrupted and I was grouchy. John came in to wake me up, and he had gotten all sexy for me and everything.I snapped pretty harshly at him and hurt him. Not only did I turn him down sexually (I didn't realize it at the time) but I also snapped at him and was disrespectful to him. Needless to say, we had a rough day. He left to run some errands and be alone and I apologized when he got home, but he was still hurting. He went to take a nap. We wasted the whole day because of pride. This afternoon, John came to me and we talked it out. There were lots of tears, anger, pride, frustration, and then thanks to God's grace, humility. It was hard. I basically broke down took a deep breathe and prayed that God would just help me to sincerly apologize and stop trying to prove that John was in the wrong. It was hard, but it was worth it. I was being very sinful and I am thankful that God showed this to me.

Our anniversary weekend was "ruined" but at the same time, it wasn't. I have learned a lot from this and now have a prayer in my heart that when John is hurting, that first I realize that he is hurt and second to go fix it and sincerely do so.
Now I know this blog post is getting really long and I apologize. For those of you who are still with me on this, one good thing to do when you are arguing, is show up to the argument naked. No lie. I have done this...only once or twice, but I have done it. And guess what, it got a chuckle and a laugh and we got to have makeup sex. I just need to stop being prideful and start doing things like this more often.

Ladies and gentlemen, remember that this marriage is only of this world. It is temporary. I was reminded of this many times yesterday in many ways, but kept ignoring it. Please don't ignore it. If you are mad at your spouse for whatever reason, even though it's tough, please just suck it up, strip down to your birthday suit, and go apologize. The end result will be well worth it, I promise. :)

Are Your Tanks Filled

I love how God works. When it seems like He is teaching me something, I hear it over and over. :) The thing He has been working on me lately is filling my amazing husband’s love tank. I had read the book “The Five Love Languages” and knew about the different love languages. I even knew what ones John was. But, it seemed like his tank wasn’t being filled. I wasn’t doing a good job of trying to fill it and I wasn’t sure HOW to fill it. 

Only Momentary

I have been reading an AMAZING book called “This Momentary Marriage” by John Piper. This book has been so enlightening and helpful. Probably one of THE best marriage books I’ve read.

It has brought me to tears and has really helped me realize that this marriage of mine is only temporary. It is to show the world what greater things are to come. It is to be a great marriage showing others an example of the gospel and leave them longing for the things of Above.

Who Did He Marry

This may be an unpopular post. I know it was/is a hard pill for me to swallow as well, but it is important.

First Year Anniversary Kidnapping

So, I wanted to share my amazing first year anniversary with my amazing hubby, but thought that writing a few lines in a status wouldn't give it nearly the importance nor do it justice. Solution...write a note/blog post about it. :)

So, for those of you who aren’t friends with my hubby on facebook, here is how it all went. :)