What will Thirty See

Ah, thirty years.

Let's start with twenty. Twenty's saw us meet. Twenty's saw us date (though for a while I had no clue). Twenty's saw us marry. Twenty's saw us have not just one child, but three. Twenty's saw you grow as a friend, father, and husband. Twenty's saw mistakes, but more importantly God's grace, love, strength, and sanctification at work.

Twenty's saw us both learn what it means to be married. How love is selfless, hard, active, growing each day, never easy, but oh so worth it. Twenty's saw lots of changes and moves. Twenty saw how awesomely you provide for your family always looking to better our lives even when it isn't easy. Twenty's saw us growing in Christ and Him using marriage to sanctify us (and still sanctifying us each day). Twenty's saw adventures and Mexico's.

But now at thirty you have grown, you love me better than I love you. You help me grow to be a better person. You are an amazing father who is more compassionate and does not assume with your children, giving them and myself the benefit of the doubt, evaluating the situation first before reacting.

You love me even when I make it hard. When I have a poor attitude, when I forget to make you lunches or breakfast, when your laundry doesn't get done, when I want my alone time over filling your love tank. You love me even when I have been too lazy to get out of my gym clothes before you get home. You love me through all of this and are so selfless, always asking how you can help me.

Now at Thirty, you are an example to me of Christ's love for His church. How He loves selflessly, how He sanctifies them. How God loves me. You are an example to our boys of how a father and husband should act, treat their wife and children. You are an example of leadership, striving to be a true leader who doesn't just give orders, but walks along side those he leads.

Thank you for living out such an awesome example for me and the kids.

I love you very much. I cannot wait to see what thirty will see. :)

Crying Babies and Awesome Church

So, I never want to come across as fake. I want to be honest and talk about the wonderful....and the not so wonderful. I want people to know I am real. That my family and I do have struggles. Not every day is smiles, snuggles, and just warm happy feelings; some days are just plain rough! Sometimes it helps to know others have those rough days too and that you are not alone. Maybe that is one of the reasons God blesses us with “rough” days is so that we can in turn be a blessing to someone else in their rough days and be not just sympathetic, but empathetic. Either way, today was a rough day. Let me tell you a bit about my day.

The First Few Years of Marriage Rollercoaster No One Warned Me About

Once again, I want to share the "real" us. The first year maybe the first two years of our marriage where such a  rollercoaster ride. There were definitely highs and we were madly in love, but the lows--the bad times--were really bad.

The Death of an Amazing Woman and it's Impact

I am going to be upfront with you. Death scares me; so does heaven.

Gossiping Lies

I'm nervous to write this post because I know this is going to come across as harsh, but I don't mean it to. Just know my heart isn't to be harsh and judgemental.

Sometimes the way the world thinks saddens me. And by the world, I don't necessarily mean unbelievers, some things believers say is also very saddening--sometimes more so because they should know better....but then again, God is the one who opens our eyes, not us. I just recently overheard an older couple talking about someone they knew who was getting married.

Is your husband getting that lovin' feeling?

Okay, well we can't avoid it much longer so let's just get to it. And, this is something that I need to work on big time. Most of my posts are written not because I have mastered this area and am an expert, I write them because I want to share what I'm learning and hope that as women of God, married couples, wives, mothers, friends, we can all grow together because I am definitely still growing.

Encouraging our husbands

I asked my husband once if I nag and his response wasn't what I expected, he informed me that I don't...in the way a normal wife nags or in the way one normally thinks of nagging. I don't do it verbally; I do it in my attitude and actions. Ouch....lol. But I'm glad I asked and he was honest. Another way one can nag without realizing it, is by not praising and edifying our husbands. What are you doing when you aren't thinking and praising the good? Thinking on the negative. Now maybe you wouldn't categorize that as nagging, but it definitely isn't edifying and respecting.

Marriage Books

I wanted to read this new book on marriage that has come highly recommended to me:

http://www.amazon.com/Real-Marriage-Truth-Friendship-Together/dp/1400205387.

What Do Women Want?

Now guys and gals, before you get scared and think this is going to be a feminist post or a male-chauvinist post, take a big sigh of relief...it's not. It is a simple post on things we can do in our marriages to help fulfill our spouses needs. I saw this post today when I was browsing through blogs and I wanted to share it with you. It is a really good yet simple post on what women really want. So any guys reading this, check it out. :) It may prove to be helpful for your wives. And ladies, we don't get off the hook. The author of the blog created this post for us to learn what our guys really want. I love how short, concise, and honest it is.

These two blog posts are awesome. I would recommend you click the links and head on over to her blog to check it out. :)

Here are the links one more time:

http://christianmensblog.wordpress.com/2013/06/03/10-things-women-want-men-to-know/

http://christianmensblog.wordpress.com/2013/06/05/what-men-really-wish-women-knew/

It Really Isn't the Mess

I just realized something tonight....it really isn't the mess my husband makes. It isn't. Tonight, he knew he was going to be doing something that was going to make a big mess....after I had just cleaned the house well before he got home (though, luckily I hadn't vacuumed yet; I knew there was a reason why! lol). Tonight's mess was different though. Why did I feel less frustrated and even willing to do what I could to clean it and actually be willing to clean it all up if need be? It was his apologetic attitude. He came to me and informed me that it was going to be messy (I had already suspected as much), gave me a hug and told me to stay in that chair and not turn around. lol

Grateful for my husband

I don't tell him enough. Nor do I tell others enough. I am so grateful, blessed, amazed, awed, in love with, and just absolutely twitterpated with the man I get to lay next to each night. Last night we had a lazy evening filled with Britain's Got Talent, Survivor, and cuddling. I loved it. This evening, we all went to the park together and walked while John played disc golf. We also got to meet a hero dog named Leila who helped us find a disc that got lost in the leaves. I was going to write a Mundane Monday post, but instead I want to write a post on why I am so grateful for my husband. Now some of you may be going through some rough waters in your marriage, and I want to let you know, our marriage is by no means perfect. We have our rough times....every other night. lol It seems like it's that often. It also seems like we have a big fight once a month. By God's grace, we are having less and less of those times and when we do, we make up much quicker. God definitely uses marriage to sanctify us, and for that I am grateful. I hate those "bad" times, but I am grateful that God is using them to grow us closer to Him and more Christ-like despite the sinful attitudes. So, if you are struggling and things seem rough, I want to let you know that we have those times as well. Don't lose heart, and even when you are in those times, instead of finding the bad in your spouse which is so easy to do, write a list of the positives, even if it is just the fact that your husband provides for your family, or that he smells nice, write it out. Write something, and pray. Pray hard. Pray that God would humble you and hold you and don't loose hope. Even though my husband is amazing and I am blessed, he and I are both only human. Even so, here are all the reasons he makes me smile. :)

-Even when he is mad, he is amazingly humble and accepts my apologies when they are sincere.
-He apologizes often.
-When I am napping, he comes in quietly and holds me while I sleep.
-He tells me that when we go to bed at night and he holds me, how it's his favorite time of day. Heart smile!
-He appreciates my cooking.
-He likes doing things as a family.
-He randomly meets us at the park.
-He's the only dad at the park actually playing with his kid.
-He challenges my thinking.
-He helps me do, dry, and put away the dishes when I am tired and stressed without being asked either.
-Not only does he work very hard (this week he has not had a day off yet), but he genuinely cares for all of his clients.


There are so many others reasons, but I need to finish up this post so I can go spend time with my man! :) Have a wonderful Sunday everyone!

Having a Marriage that Rocks!!

I read this today  and I am honestly not sure where this came from so I can't give credit BUT it wasn't from me. Though, I thought it was fantastic and some things we really should implement  :) Check it out and try to do a few of these things for your husband or wife today. :)

60 WAYS TO MAKE YOUR MARRIAGE ROCK! 

1. PRAY TOGETHER ALWAYS 
2. READ THE SCRIPTURES TOGETHER ALWAYS 
3. Go on regular date nights
4. Hide notes in secret places
5. Go to bed at the same time
6. Listen to music together-share ear-buds
7. Buy him gifts he will love
8. Revitalize the romance with intimate dates
9. Wear shirts that tell the world you love your spouse
10. Praise your spouse to other people
11. Read a marriage devotional
12. Sleep in his t-shirts
13. Renew your vows privately with whispers and memories
14. Renew them publicly with cake and bubbly
15. Go away together at least once a year


For Women Only
16. Hang pictures of the two of you around your house
17. Make his favorite dessert
18. Make sex a priority
19. Spend time apart occasionally
20. Learn to enjoy something he loves
21. Surprise each other
22. Meet him at the door
23. Text each other from across the room
24. Set reminders on your phone to remember him/her throughout the week
25. Call him right now and tell him you appreciate him

For Men Only
26. Leave work on time and come home early
27. Engage every day in meaningful conversation
28. Compliment each other
29. Take one day a month to make your spouse your total focus
30. Argue fair: avoid these words “you always” and “you never”
31. Kiss every day
32. Find tangible ways to serve your mate without complaining
33. Forgive quickly
34. Be honest.
35. Get on the same page: plan your budget together
36. Look your best as often as you can
37. Guard your marriage
38. Laugh together
39. When you are together-BE TOGETHER (take a break from phones, technology, etc)
40. Tell her she’s pretty, especially when she’s not feeling it

Both
41. Make each other breakfast in bed
42. Do her chores for her
44. Get a couple’s massage or host your own privately
44. Dance together-soft music (both of you alone) or rocking music with the kids
45. Exercise together- hikes, bike riding, etc
46. Choose not to be annoyed by an irritating behavior/disappointment from your spouse
47. Thank your spouse often even for the least reason or gesture
48. Lay in bed together and stare into each other eyes, without talking
49. Learn something new together-take an art class, cooking lessons, etc
50. Leave a sweet comment on the Facebook wall
51. Support each other’s goals
52. Bring her flowers/gifts (even when she says they are too expensive)
53. Wear something your spouse loves
54. Share furniture-sit in his lap
55. Fight for your marriage
56. Make a point to eat dinner together most days of the week.
57. Never let your spouse feel like they come second place to your career or any other thing.
58. Talk about your dreams and aspirations. Be supportive of each other and dream big together!
59. Maintain a united front as your motto: Meaning- “Me and you against the world.
60. Speak well of your spouse.

Quality Time

John and I used to play games with each other all the time when we were dating. Once we married, that stopped. Honestly not sure why. We just got lazy and complacent I guess? Anywho, over the weekend we decided to play games. We played Yahtzee one night. That was a blast. Then another night we played Uno. Then John taught me how to play Chess. I am no good at it, but it was still fun. I reorganized our game cupboard and placed it in a bookshelf near the kitchen so that we can get to the games easier. Before they were in a closet on the top shelf so we hardly saw them and they were so hard to get to, we just didn't. I enjoyed playing the games with him. It was fun doing something other than watching a movie or whatever. we tried Trivial pursuit, but we both realized we are NOT smart enough for that game. That game is HARD!!! lol so we quit....and are throwing the game away....

What are some things you and your family do for fun? Maybe pull out a simple fun game tonight and play a few rounds. You will be surprised at how fun it is even if you don't want to at first. :)

Emotionally Unstable

One of my hopes for my blog is that I can show everyone else that me, my marriage, and my family are not perfect. We are happy, we are grateful, we are very blessed, but we are sinners. Some of you who know me, already know I am not a strong person emotionally. I tend to be emotional. I let things offend me that shouldn't. I get frustrated about simple things. I get overwhelmed very easy, etc. Well, yesterday was no exception. John and I had an argument and made up. It was a good talk that brought up things that needed to be discussed and solved. We need to strive to make up quicker though and he pointed out that we only have each other for a little while and he doesn't want to get to heaven and have God say to Him, "I gave you this marriage and what did you do with it? You wasted 25% of it fighting, the other 50% you wasted not talking to each other because of the fights and then the last 25% you wasted just doing your own thing." What he said convicted me. I don't want that. I want our marriage and our lives to glorify and honor God. To bring Him glory and to be a witness to others. Anywho, so I was already an emotional wreck even though things were back to normal between us.

We had to go up north for my dad to fix John's car for us (by the way, they are still working on it. Thanks dad and John for being so awesome and for trying to hard to work on it! You guys rock!! and I know you will get it.). I started thinking of all the things I had to get done in a short amount of time and the house was a mess...as usual. I HATE leaving the house like that and then coming home to a messy house. But it was inevitable that I would have to leave it. And as we were packing, things kept getting messier. I lost it. Well lost it in my way which is going into a room by myself and crying. As I was crying in the bathroom I wished I wasn't so emotion. I wished I could be a wife and mother that just took things in stride and was just able to handle it all. And when things didn't go just right, that I was able to say oh well, smile and be just wonderful for John. But I'm not and I probably never will be just like that until heaven, though I am striving to get better. Then it hit me, my emotional unstableness is a blessing. It shows me just how humble I am, how I CAN'T do anything without God. as 1 Corinthians 12:9-10 states. We are made weak that HE may be strong. So, I am thankful that I fail only because it shows me how truly awesome my God is. He is truly great and He is my strength. How amazing. At that moment I had a few more tears but I felt as though He were holding me. But I was even more blessed. I came out and looked like I had clearly been crying. John asked what was the matter and after a few times of asking I told him I was overwhelmed and stressed and wanted to go but I didn't want to go either. lol He sat me down with a t-chart and put all the pros and cons of staying versus going. Then he helped me see that everything I had to get done, I could get done in like 30 minutes tops when I got back. He took the time to stop packing and stop rushing out to try to leave to sit me down and help me out. It was a huge blessing. I am sure it is very frustrating for him sometimes, but he is so amazing for me. After this, he then gave me a big hug and a high five which then produced more tears as he jammed my finger really badly, but that is another story. lol

I am very blessed. Not only did God remind me that I am not emotionally strong, and that is okay. He is. He's got it covered. :) And then He blessed me with an amazing husband that helps me out.

Brutally Honest (warning, I would put a married or mature audience only disclaimer)

So, I am writing a humbling, brutally honest marriage post. Our marriage is not anywhere near perfect. We tell each other half jokingly that we fight every other day with a once a month big fight where we stop speaking for a few days. Now, this is sad, but it's the truth. No marriage is perfect; if you think your's is, you may need to listen to a few CDs on marriage or read a few books and then talk to each other, it definitely brings up stuff. lol As sad and sinful as the fights are, they are sanctifying as well. I wanted to write a post about this for a few reasons, one to write about how God is sanctifying me and showing me my selfish, prideful heart. Another reason is so that others who may struggle can be encouraged and realize that it isn't the end. I though in the beginning that because we fight so much that we really weren't meant for each other; that my friends is a lie that the devil tries to get us to believe. And lastly, I hope that through telling you about our mistakes, our failures, and then how we fixed the issue, you may learn as well and maybe can be proactive rather than reactive. :) So, here is a look into our sinful but wonderfully sanctifying lives.

I was thrilled for our anniversary. It's been two years! Two wonderful, hard, loverly, sanctifying (I am saying that a lot aren't I? Noticing a theme? lol), difficult, passionate, loving, amazing years. I had been planning what we were going to do for months. I knew we didn't have much money, so I was trying to come up with things that weren't expensive. Then I decided to make a bunch of homemade decorations. I cut out TONS of hearts of all sizes and colors. I hung most from the ceiling in our bedroom and then with the smaller ones, I wrote things down that I am thankful for, appreciate, or just plain love about John and I had them sprinkled on the dinner table. I then bought a few balloons (my plan was to buy a bunch, but again money was tight...so I bought a tiny bag and busted one....so I was left with two.......lol). I placed a small piece of paper in each one saying a few more things about John. I taped those to the ceiling too. They were to be popped later that evening...they still haven't been. More on that later.

I then wrote him some love letters and mailed them out to his work one each day for a few days (I was planning on a really awesome one including a sign to arrive today on Monday which is our actual anniversary but he took the day off.....lol).I set out a box that we keep and we call the "memory box." It is a box of everything we want to remember. Letters, little do dads from different events we have gone to, roses, ring boxes, ticket stubs, etc. I had set out a bunch of massage oils and such too and was planning on giving each other massages.  Warning: this is where it gets to be for married folks only lol. I even planned on doing a strip tease dance. I was soooo nervous!!!! I didn't really follow through on this one too well. But I will! I had the works set out. Confectionery hearts in the shape of a heart on the dresser, candles EVERYWHERE in the bedroom...even a feather boa! lol

Well, we were lame. We were both sooo tired that day and the only thing we did was go through the memory box, which was in fact fun. We both loved that, but that was it. I had dinner and movie with popcorn and pop planned, and lots of stuff. But, we both planned on resuming the activities the following day.....and we had a pretty good day Sunday too, until I decided to take a nap. My nap kept getting interrupted and I was grouchy. John came in to wake me up, and he had gotten all sexy for me and everything.I snapped pretty harshly at him and hurt him. Not only did I turn him down sexually (I didn't realize it at the time) but I also snapped at him and was disrespectful to him. Needless to say, we had a rough day. He left to run some errands and be alone and I apologized when he got home, but he was still hurting. He went to take a nap. We wasted the whole day because of pride. This afternoon, John came to me and we talked it out. There were lots of tears, anger, pride, frustration, and then thanks to God's grace, humility. It was hard. I basically broke down took a deep breathe and prayed that God would just help me to sincerly apologize and stop trying to prove that John was in the wrong. It was hard, but it was worth it. I was being very sinful and I am thankful that God showed this to me.

Our anniversary weekend was "ruined" but at the same time, it wasn't. I have learned a lot from this and now have a prayer in my heart that when John is hurting, that first I realize that he is hurt and second to go fix it and sincerely do so.
Now I know this blog post is getting really long and I apologize. For those of you who are still with me on this, one good thing to do when you are arguing, is show up to the argument naked. No lie. I have done this...only once or twice, but I have done it. And guess what, it got a chuckle and a laugh and we got to have makeup sex. I just need to stop being prideful and start doing things like this more often.

Ladies and gentlemen, remember that this marriage is only of this world. It is temporary. I was reminded of this many times yesterday in many ways, but kept ignoring it. Please don't ignore it. If you are mad at your spouse for whatever reason, even though it's tough, please just suck it up, strip down to your birthday suit, and go apologize. The end result will be well worth it, I promise. :)

He is REALLY trying!

I got home from doing a tutoring lessons late last night and I walked into the kitchen because I was hungry. I walked into a disaster. There was popcorn all over, a 50 lb bag of popcorn on the table, the popcorn maker on the counter, meatloaf pan on the stove, baggies all over, pot holders on the stove, pop bottles on the counter, multiple cups everywhere, may not sound like a lot, but in a small kitchen....it was trashed.

Are Your Tanks Filled

I love how God works. When it seems like He is teaching me something, I hear it over and over. :) The thing He has been working on me lately is filling my amazing husband’s love tank. I had read the book “The Five Love Languages” and knew about the different love languages. I even knew what ones John was. But, it seemed like his tank wasn’t being filled. I wasn’t doing a good job of trying to fill it and I wasn’t sure HOW to fill it. 

Only Momentary

I have been reading an AMAZING book called “This Momentary Marriage” by John Piper. This book has been so enlightening and helpful. Probably one of THE best marriage books I’ve read.

It has brought me to tears and has really helped me realize that this marriage of mine is only temporary. It is to show the world what greater things are to come. It is to be a great marriage showing others an example of the gospel and leave them longing for the things of Above.

Being Aware of Answered Prayers

I have been praying for John and his work for a while, not as consistently as I should be though I’ll admit. I had been praying that he would get some listings and that things would start to pick up. Well, he came home the other day and told me that he was hosting his very own open house this upcoming Sunday. My first reaction was to pray that it went well and he was able to get his name out there and get some potential clients. It is on a very busy road so he’s sure to get lots of people stopping in to check out the house.

Then it hit me. I had prayed that things would start to be more productive at work. And guess what, they did! But instead of praising God and thanking Him for not only providing but answering my prayers, I just asked Him for more things. How selfish of me! He had provided! He deserved to be thanked and praised! I sat right down and thanked Him for being providing such wonderful things and for taking care of us. He is so awesome.

Then, a few other things happened as well that are exciting. God is definitely providing.

So the point that I learned is we need to be aware of what God is doing in our lives. He is always working. When we pray for something, remember that He ALWAYS answers and we need to be thankful for His answers. I find it so easy to take for granted the blessings that He provides but to notice the negative that is in my life. I need to be more aware of the blessings and to shower my wonderful Lord with praise and thanksgiving for those things.

Praying that this lesson sticks with me and that I become more and more grateful. God rocks! Let’s make sure we tell Him that and that others know as well! :)

Who Did He Marry

This may be an unpopular post. I know it was/is a hard pill for me to swallow as well, but it is important.