Behind the White Dress Part I: Is This "Normal?"

The door slammed shut as he left angry and hurt and I stood crying and hurt once again. This wasn't the first time.

"Mom, help!"

My son asks for help a lot....most frequently when I am driving. My answer normally resembles something like "Buddy, mommy can't right now because of......" There are times where I simply tell him no explaining that I know he can do it himself wanting him to have that personal victory (he gets so excited when he does do it himself). But then there are other times where he does need help, I am available, but it is a really non-important task For example, we are in a hurry to get home because the baby is fussy, as I am putting Levi in the car, his flipflop falls off but we are just driving home; he doesn't need it on. But he thinks he NEEDS it on. So "Ah mom!! Help!!" At first I started to say he was fine and it could wait until we got home, then I was convicted. Not that I was sinning in telling him to wait, but that his request was simple and I need to think of the future as well.

But I don't want to go to church

Okay Everyone, maybe I am the only one who feels like this (though I doubt it very much) but Sunday I just was in a plain grouchy mood and did NOT want to go to church.....at all. John wasn't feeling well and Jahs has had a cough so John thought it would be best if Jahs stayed home with him.

What will Thirty See

Ah, thirty years.

Let's start with twenty. Twenty's saw us meet. Twenty's saw us date (though for a while I had no clue). Twenty's saw us marry. Twenty's saw us have not just one child, but three. Twenty's saw you grow as a friend, father, and husband. Twenty's saw mistakes, but more importantly God's grace, love, strength, and sanctification at work.

Twenty's saw us both learn what it means to be married. How love is selfless, hard, active, growing each day, never easy, but oh so worth it. Twenty's saw lots of changes and moves. Twenty saw how awesomely you provide for your family always looking to better our lives even when it isn't easy. Twenty's saw us growing in Christ and Him using marriage to sanctify us (and still sanctifying us each day). Twenty's saw adventures and Mexico's.

But now at thirty you have grown, you love me better than I love you. You help me grow to be a better person. You are an amazing father who is more compassionate and does not assume with your children, giving them and myself the benefit of the doubt, evaluating the situation first before reacting.

You love me even when I make it hard. When I have a poor attitude, when I forget to make you lunches or breakfast, when your laundry doesn't get done, when I want my alone time over filling your love tank. You love me even when I have been too lazy to get out of my gym clothes before you get home. You love me through all of this and are so selfless, always asking how you can help me.

Now at Thirty, you are an example to me of Christ's love for His church. How He loves selflessly, how He sanctifies them. How God loves me. You are an example to our boys of how a father and husband should act, treat their wife and children. You are an example of leadership, striving to be a true leader who doesn't just give orders, but walks along side those he leads.

Thank you for living out such an awesome example for me and the kids.

I love you very much. I cannot wait to see what thirty will see. :)

When God Works in Your Children's Heart, It is oh So Sweet

Ah nap time. Boy it can be a joyful time, but it can also be a "sanctifying time."

My Momma Told Me There'd Be Days Like This

I post this not as a complaint, but because I sometimes see mom's posts about how good everything is and then feel like I'm doing something wrong when I have normal bad days.

Picking up Sticks Worthy of the Death Sentence?

So I am in the book of Numbers for my morning devotions. I won't lie, I struggle a little bit because it isn't the easiest to just apply to your every day life. But I know that every word is profitable and I should be thankful for even Leviticus and Numbers. :P

Anywho, that is beside the point. In my devotions the story of the guy who picked up sticks on the Sabbath and how everyone wasn't sure what to do about it so they inquired of God. God told them that he should be stoned to death. This really took me by surprise. Check out the passage:

Number 15:32-36

Penalty for Violating the Sabbath

32 Now while the children of Israel were in the wilderness, they found a man gathering sticks on the Sabbath day. 33 And those who found him gathering sticks brought him to Moses and Aaron, and to all the congregation. 34 They put him under guard, because it had not been explained what should be done to him.

35 Then the Lord said to Moses, “The man must surely be put to death; all the congregation shall stone him with stones outside the camp.” 36 So, as the Lord commanded Moses, all the congregation brought him outside the camp and stoned him with stones, and he died.

 I mean I know that no work was to be done on the Sabbath but he just picked up sticks. This caused me to really ponder this a lot. It brought up a lot of questions for example, why was he stoned? Was it truly because he disobeyed regardless of his heart (like did he purposely rebel against God or was it an accident?)? Was it because he was purposefully rebelling and disregarding God? Was it do be an example? I don't know and I don't think Numbers tells us. But I think the "moral of the story" is the gravity of the seriousness of sin regardless. Sin is sin against a holy God. It is rebellion. It is spitting in His face saying that what He did on the cross for us didn't matter at all. As Christians we are free from the power of sin, yet we still do sin and will continue to until the day we die. If I learn anything from this confusing passage, it should be that my God is a holy God. A God that takes sin seriously and is a just God.

In what ways are we taking sin lightly today? Are we being deceitful or manipulative? Sin is serious. Let us pray that the Holy Spirit would come and keep our conscience open and ready to help us.