|This was shortly after Jahs was born. :)|
I wanted to brag on my husband a bit. It has been amazing watching him. When we had Levi, it was a bit tough. The pregnancy was tough emotionally. I was very hormonal and because we got pregnant a month or two after we got married, we were also still learning how to “deal” with each other as a couple. It was tough and I won’t lie, there were a lot of fights and a lot of tears. I was scared this pregnancy that I would be as hormonal and there would be just as much strife.
God has been absolutely amazing and there wasn’t. Of course we still fight and I was still hormonal, but it was so much better!! Also, when we were in the hospital with Levi, we were both exhausted and as we were getting ready to leave, we ended up getting into a big fight as well. That isn’t the most pleasant memory and I was so afraid it would happen this time in the hospital, but again, God was amazing and we had a great time in the hospital. We were still tired and but felt great and leaned on each other and God for strength.
I loved watching John with Jahs. Most dads are nervous, but he held him right away and actually wanted to. He wasn’t just holding him, but doing things with him and talking and actually enjoying it. Best feeling in the world as a mom is watching your husband do that. I am so blessed. He was so caring for me too. There was one point when after we returned home where I needed to do something and I asked if he would hold Jahs or would he rather me put him in his bassinet. He actually complained that he doesn’t get to hold him enough. Lol
Also, watching him interact with Levi has always made my heart melt too. Most days when he gets home from work, he’ll sit in his lazy boy chair and pick Levi up then ask him how his day has been. I love that. I have issues asking for help; it’s not that I’m prideful, I honestly don’t think to ask. That bothers John and makes him feel as though I don’t think he’s capable of doing things, so it’s something I am trying to work on. But, regardless he’s been taking the initiate to do a ton of things to help me out without me asking.
I love my husband so much; he just rocks. Of course there are days that are rough. The other day I was struggling emotionally and mentally and was having a lot of negative and self-pitying thoughts. At one point, I caught myself and knew they were wrong thoughts, but didn’t know how to change it, so I simply prayed that God would redirect my thoughts. It was a simple, “I don’t know what to ask for God, but please fix my brain” prayer and God was amazing. A while ago I taped scriptures on index cards around the house, but hadn’t really paid much attention to them. Well at that moment, I was washing dishes and happened to look at the verse above the sink. It fit in so wonderfully with my struggle and I decided to start memorizing it. I only have half of it memorized so far, but just that half has helped. When I start to struggle with feelings of self-pity, I recite that verse and it really helps my thoughts.
I love how marriage and having children is such a wonderful process of sanctification. I pray that any time I am struggling, I can realize that it is a great opportunity for me to grow in Christ and God knew that this struggle would come up and it is for His glory and my growth.
Oh, and another awesome thing about John before I go, in the middle of the night when I come in from feeding the baby and lay down, instead of being grouchy because it wakes him up, he will come and cuddle me and typically says he loves me or something like that. I, on the other hand, get grouchy when I get woken up. He definitely puts me to shame, especially in that regard. What a blessing the midnight cuddles are, especially for my love language of physical touch.