Thursday, October 18, 2012

Why can't I just STAY joyful?

I was at work driving kids back and forth to their various after school things and I was in a great mood. We were having a blast, the sun was shining, I actually felt energetic for once, and I was pain free. I started to pray thanking God for giving me that wonderful day and then I thought I cannot WAIT to get home to see John!
Then it hit me. I felt almost scared and nervous. I prayer “Dear God, please please let me this joyful, energetic, and fun-loving when I get home. Please let this joy stay! Please just help me STAY joyful! ” Poor John gets a tired, emotional, and often definitely not sanguine wife. There are some days I just wish I could be more playful and joyful for him. Or times when I feel like it during the day, but by the time he gets home, it’s like something sucked everything out of me and that little “shot” of joy had worn off. Have you ever felt like that? Have you ever wanted to grasp onto the joy you are feeling. I have been praying (not as faithfully as I should though) that God helps me have a joyful attitude and one that brings glory to Him. As I sat in that car praying that prayer it also dawned on me that if it were that easy, why would I need to rely on God? What glory would He receive from that? He would be more like a magician. Please make me stay joyful and poof....I’m joyful all day.

It doesn’t work like that does it my friends? We need to stay joyful no matter what the circumstance, but it’s not always easy. Sometimes we have to just “be” joyful and the feelings will come later. I don’t remember what happened when I got home. I pray that I was joyful even though I didn’t feel like it, though I am scared to say I was probably that sinful, emotional wife I always tend to be.

Let us continue to pray to God for joy, knowing that He is faithfully answering our prayers even though it seems like He is just making it so darn difficult. He is sculpting us and molding us so that we can truly be joyful no matter what.