Thursday, October 10, 2013

Ever Afraid to Pray? I am...Here's why

I want to be honest about something and maybe this confession will help others as well. Sometimes I am afraid to pray. I know this sounds silly to most of you, so let me explain.
Just from seeing how God works most of the time (though obviously He performs miracles and He doesn’t have a box that He fits into when it comes to answering prayer), when you pray for something like patience or a gracious spirit or joy, it seems like you encounter trials that make it really difficult for you to have the thing that you are praying for. Almost like, once you pray for it, you become worse at that thing than before. For example, I wanted to have a really good evening with my husband and to be joyful and was feeling quite good, but was afraid to pray that God would give me the strength, joy, and mental ability to keep that frame of mind because it seems like every time I pray for that, the enemy attacks and instead of having “so so” evening, we have an awful evening when what I was praying for was a great evening.

Does this make sense? Of course, God is using those struggles to help me to grow, but lately I have just been getting depressed by them and then have been even more afraid to pray for something because I know it will be harder before it gets better. Should I just continue to live unchanged or should I be striving to live a life that is growing more Christ-like each day? How do you change? You pray and lean on God and the Holy Spirit for this change. So, now I pray that God would give me the courage to pray. :) And that when whatever I am praying for seems to be getting worse, that I realize this is just a wonderful opportunity for growth and it is really God working to answer my prayer. Instead of an instant “yes” He is giving me a “we are going to work on this together, over time, for the best result and for My glory.” God always answers prayers. Always. So my friend, if you are afraid to pray sometimes, remember that God is always working and we have much to praise Him for. Let us not be afraid but thankful we can go to God and that He is there to help us grow in grace.

Edit:
First, today when John got home (after I typed this post), he was in a good mood and it went down hill fast for stupid stuff. After talking about it and tears on my part (darn hormones!) he said to me "I was in a great mood when I came home! I don't know what happened!" I was thinking the same thing. I was excited for him to come home and felt great. But, even though there was confrontation, we worked through it and are having a good evening now. :) Also, when looking for an image, I came across this article on Desiring God that really hits home and helps out tremendously. Hope you find this an amazing read like I did.

Don't Be Afraid to Pray