Friday, March 28, 2014

Crying Babies and Awesome Church

So, I never want to come across as fake. I want to be honest and talk about the wonderful....and the not so wonderful. I want people to know I am real. That my family and I do have struggles. Not every day is smiles, snuggles, and just warm happy feelings; some days are just plain rough! Sometimes it helps to know others have those rough days too and that you are not alone. Maybe that is one of the reasons God blesses us with “rough” days is so that we can in turn be a blessing to someone else in their rough days and be not just sympathetic, but empathetic. Either way, today was a rough day. Let me tell you a bit about my day.

It started out great. Today was Sunday, the kids and I were all ready to go and we weren’t not running late for church (though the roads did make traveling a bit tricky...we almost got stuck a few times on the road). I was excited to go to church and worship. I felt extremely thankful for my whole family just had that “heart bursting” feeling. One thing I have been trying to be intentional about working on is my social skills. I am an introvert and uncomfortable with crowds. I would rather stay in the background. The meet and greet at church makes me sweat and feel very awkward. I am always thankful for the kids whom I sometimes “hide behind.” (I used to LOVE taking my siblings places for the same reason, I could concentrate on taking care of them and entertaining them) Anywho, I felt that today went much better and I was actually enjoying talking with people and making conversation (I always enjoying “talking” with people, just not so much doing the talking...or keeping the conversation going). The sermon was amazing and so convicting.

Then Jahs got tired. He is at the stage he has a hard time sleeping when he is out and he gets fussy....and cries. Let me just say it is funny how mis-communications work. John was telling me I should put Jahs in his carseat and let him fuss until he goes to sleep (which is what we normally do and it works pretty fast...unless he has already gotten himself worked up which is what I allowed to happen today). I didn’t hear him; it is weird how the mother brain works sometimes. I was stressed because he started fussing right as they were about to do communion and had opened up all the doors to the sanctuary so you could hear him in there. I was worried about how to make him quiet and as fast as possible and I really literally didn’t understand that John was telling me I should set him down in the seat. He thought I was arguing with him and he got frustrated. I got frustrated because he was frustrated and I thought he was being unsupportive of me. We got in the car and I started trying to communicate (I am even bad at it with my own hubby lol) and John wisely suggested we wait until later to talk. And like I said, it was just a mis-communication. I still wish it didn’t have to happen, but I am glad that because it did, we can learn from it and the tender moment we shared discussing it and him holding me (filling my love tank! It gets extra low after any sort of confrontation) was very special. 

On one hand, I was still frustrated because “church was ruined” but on the other hand, I am grateful because we learned how and why we misunderstood each other and now know what to do next time. 

I am not going to lie, I am still feeling “icky” but it is for now reason. I just feel down. But, I know I can lean on God and be grateful even for the “ickiness” because there is a lesson even in that and a chance to glorify God. 

And I want to thank all the wonderful nursery workers. You are such a blessing in my life and are much appreciated. You make coming to worship so much better. Thank you for all that you do in blessing our family!